Letter to President Obama

April 29, 2009

Dear President Obama:

On this occasion of your 100th day in office, I have been reflecting upon my situation. In spite of all of your promises made before and after your inauguration, I discover no positive change in my personal financial situation. My retirement portfolios remain well below the value they had prior to your inauguration. Happily, I have not been downsized or subjected to pay cuts at this time, but I see that many of my fellow Americans are still being subjected to this malady. I note that in spite of your promises to change Washington, D.C., the members of Congress who created this financial quagmire remain in office while others who have not been elected now serve in your administration.

However, I am not writing to merely point out the problems that remain and the promises that have yet to be fulfilled. Like most hard working Americans, I work and strive for solutions. Therefore, I offer this solution so that you can expedite to me your promised assistance. Simply provide me with the routing and account numbers to your checking and/or saving account. I will take care of the rest. I promise you that I will not deplete your account; I am only seeking what you have promised to be my fair share of the American pie. Since I know how sincerely you have made these promises, I feel certain that you will not mind providing me your personal assistance in this matter.

Thank you for being the greatest president since... well... ever!

Sincerely,

Charles Layne

American citizen

P.S. A young college student broke down in tears at a John Edwards' campaign rally as she pleaded for the help she needed. Mr. Edwards proceeded to tell her and everyone else that this is why he needed to be elected as the next president. He promised that she and all other Americans in crisis would receive the assistance they so desperately needed. Upon learning of this event through our faithful media, Mr. Rush Limbaugh made the effort to discover the identity of this suffering student, personally contact her, and personally provide her the financial assistance she needs to complete her education. Since Mr. Limbaugh is using his personal resources to accomplish this act of compassion, no American taxpayers are hurt in the process.

I feel certain, Mr. President, in my heart of hearts, that you are no less compassionate than Mr. Limbaugh and would willingly assist your fellow Americans, who you so humbly serve, by making available your personal resources. I look forward to your reply - especially the routing and account numbers I previously requested. Thank you!